Mated to the Werewolf King

spaceThis reader recieved an advanced readers copy of Alana Des' first part of her series, "Mated to the Werewolf King", in exchange for an honest review. Unlike other reviewers, this reader was less than pleased with the story. While trying to overlook all of the editing issues involved with grammar, spelling, punctuation and tense errors - comma's placed willy-nilly with no rhyme or reason, incorrect usage of words in sentences like the word "old" used when clearly "older" was what was meant, skipping from present first tense to third person past tense in the same sentence, added to various continuity errors such as Keith the werewolf king "grinning for the first time in days since he lost Belle" - yet, according to the way it was written, Belle had left earlier that same day. These errors were all found within the first chapter or two.
spaceThe plot seemed interesting enough; however, Des told the story more than showed it, which tends to keep a reader away from the action taking place... not an observer to all that is happening, rather sitting and listening to what someone else has to say about whatever incident took place. And that can make a long, boring read. Editing could tighten this story considerably, allowing it to be vastly more interesting... it was wordy - like Des loved to hear her own words, whether the story needed them or not, and repetitive almost to the point of nausea for this reader.
spaceUnfortunately, this reader was never able to develop empathy for or with any character in the tale. There were multiple points of view, written mainly as stream of consciousness inner dialogue - again, often repeating what the narrative had previously told us just seconds ago. Dialogue was stilted and flat and often just - again - repeated what the narrative had stated earlier. This reader is a strong advocate for "show don't tell" and the majority of the book was simply told... rarely, Des would insert lovely descriptors that actually showed what was happening, wanting to draw this reader in, then she'd revert back to telling the lengthy tale. Because the plot did show promise, this reader will offer three stars - but cannot recommend the book, either, due to her simply not caring for it. ** Review originally posted to Amazon reviews on July 25, 2017 and Goodreads on the same date. **


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