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Mine

spaceThis reader received a copy of A.N. Senerella's "Mine" in exchange for an honest review. Although an adult, this reader does happen to enjoy a well written young adult romance or coming of age story. With the key words "well written". This is a young adult romance that is more of a hot mess than a believable or interesting tale. Senerella uses multiple points of view - five, to be exact, with four basically reiterating what protagonist Anika has stated over and over again. The story reads like a young teens fantasy journal in a stream of thought style... she considers herself ordinary and is shocked when suddenly two good-looking and more or less out-of-her-league males begin drooling over her. Absolutely nothing is written about her character, showing why these males suddenly have the hots for her, either. Senerella barely describes the physical aspect of her characters, let alone showing personality or temperament traits, leaving every single character one dimensional. Male lead Foster is described as "...seven foot twelve or something..." in height. Uh, that's eight foot tall. Senerella wants him to be eight foot tall? No problem, call it like it is instead of "seven foot twelve or something" because twelve inches equals a foot. Senerella wants to imply Anika's view is exaggerated? No problem, have her think Foster appears like the lone redwood tree standing in a forest of maples... or something like that.
spaceThe entire story is told - in present tense, mind you - never shown, making it an extremely long, boring read. Readers are suppose to feel in the moment of incidents happening, yet there is time jumping in back flashes and forward jumps. When has that happened in real life? Back flashes, maybe, but skipping ahead months or a year? And instead of telling readers that Anika is annoyed, show us by her chewing on her lips or shoulders trembling or reddening of her face or lips pressed tightly together forming a thin line or narrowed eyes or... you get the picture. Being able to envision "Anika tilting her head slightly with her eyes narrowed, puffing out a loud sigh" is much more interesting to read than, "Anika felt annoyed". Yet, both imply the same thing; simply, one paints a picture with words while the other makes a statement. There are also too many continuity errors to list in this tale.
spaceContrary to what some others may believe, this reader takes no satisfaction in writing what may be viewed as harsh critiques. It is her goal to point out problem spots or show where things could be improved, in her opinion. Perhaps publishers that push writers out before they are ready, should be blamed. Who knows? This reader truly wished to find at least one item to praise in Senerells's writing, but could not. Settings were not described, simply told about... dialogue was stilted and unnatural... characters were one dimensional... grammar, punctuation and spelling errors were numerous - as well as many tense issues. This reader cannot recommend this story. ** Review originally posted to Amazon reviews on June 21, 2017 and Goodreads on June 12, 2017. **

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