"Caged" is written by Onaiza Khan; the blurb of the story sounded intriguing, a mystery and a form of self-awareness or self-knowledge with perhaps a hint of paranormal. The story is written in first person, which should allow a reader to feel a sense of immediacy or feel like one is involved in the tale, adding to the sense of urgency or excitement. Unfortunately, when a writer tells a tale, versus shows the reader what is happening, it then takes away from that immediacy, urgency, or excitement. The story opens with a daydream where protagonist Noor talks about how the grass, dew and sun make her feel; this reader would rather experience this with Noor, be able to feel the heat of the sun instead of being told "The bright sun made me squint, taking in all its anger and wrath." Noor is lazing about in her daydream but says the sun is angry and wrathful... why? The tale felt long in the telling, but had Khan shown the reader what is happening, it could have exceeded this reader's hopes for an interesting read. There were a few spelling, grammar, punctuation, and word usage errors found, yet not enough to toss this reader totally from the world Khan created. In fact, this reader felt it likely that English was not Khan's first language due to some word usage, therefore this reader was "more forgiving" towards errors found. Rather, it was more along the lines of poor character development that frustrated this reader, as she was unable to connect to any character and empathize or feel anything for or about them. There was simply too many questions as to why a character behaved as they did, when Khan gave no personality or temperament indicators as to why they did what they did. However, the introduction of secondary character Rhon was fairly nicely done and quite an interesting character. This reader would have enjoyed learning more about Rhon. Transitions from one scene to another were a bit rough, but for the most point were feasible enough that one didn't get lost. The theme behind the tale was also Noor's mantra throughout: Keep your mind right, put your body in action, and let your spirit guide you. Powerful and pertinent advice and truly a terrific theme. Unfortunately, it fell flat for this reader because of Khan telling the entire story instead of showing it. A free copy was given in exchange for an honest review of this story; this reader acknowledges Khan's creativity while dinging her for the old "show don't tell" technique... showing requires specific details in order for a reader to feel, see, taste, touch, or hear it. This reader will not rule out Khan as an author to watch, but rather hopes Khan will hone and enhance her skills. ** Review originally posted to Amazon reviews on November 22, 2016. **
